he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
True strength comes from lack of pants
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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