I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
