Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
