Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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