We won't sleep together?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
