He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
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That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity