His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.