UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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