"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
