im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
