my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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