I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
