Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
