so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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