apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
