if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
