I think I died a long time ago.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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