We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That's intense
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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