i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff