He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.