The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.