get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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