Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
