hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
