If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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