I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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