Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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