Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
