Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I need moral support for this bender
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
