my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
