Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
