so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
