In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
