turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
