omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
