My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
