how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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