This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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