She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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