pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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