we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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