Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
