o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
