I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
