Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Boobs are out for the taking
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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