How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
