I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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