What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
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I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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