tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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