my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
