Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
