i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
