How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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