i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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