i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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