carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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